Question: How do I break this cycle, and move on for Good??

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Answer #1:

You decide that you deserve better and this also hurts your kids,get stubborn and don't allow it in your life anymore..
Start doing thing to rebuild your self esteem. Get the kids in daycare,go back to school and start day dreaming about a better life.
Don't let him ruin your dreams..

Answer #2:

Only you can change yourself. You can't change him. You can change your weight...you have three kids...!

Leave and never go back. He doesn't respect or value you.

Answer #3:

The only way is to mentally, emotionally and physically push yourself. There is no secret code to getting over someone. And everyone handles it in their own way. Yes your kids will need a father at some point but if he is treating you so badly what makes you think he will treat your children any different down the road. He's not a good man. Anyone can see that.
It's awesome that you have been able to realize there is a problem and now you'll just have to follow through with your decision to stay away.
It's going to be hard and you may even reach an all new low but it has to be done.
Both for you and your children.
They already have a jerk of a father and don't need a mother hurting them as well.
So if you can't do it for you do it for them.
PS - Hanging around him will only make other men think you are not available. You ARE beautiful and I promise there is a man out there for you who will treat you right. Because you are worth it.

Answer #4:

Stop allowing yourself to go back to him! Seriously you have a problem.

Don't worry about having the "family" he promised, it's there it just doesn't have him in the picture, file against him for child support and please stop going back to him.

Answer #5:

After reading this, I can relate, I am 8 months "clean" from getting out of a similar marriage. It has been a rough and emotionally draining 8 months, but I am out.

The way to end the cycle, is to realize what you deserve and to also realize he will never change. You MUST stop this cycle in order to heal. Oftentimes, we stick with the person who has hurt us, because we need them to validate the negative feelings we have about ourselves. It hurts to me rejected, but we often seek comfort from our rejector, but it is only temporary comfort and stalls our healing process.

Telling you that he never cheated is bull, and he is being emotionally abusive to you.

You admit that you have low self esteem, and for this very reason, you are drawn to an emotionally unavailable man. He promises you empty promises. You are his fallback girl. He knows that when he has no other options, you will be there, waiting in the wings. He knows this. You must stop being That Girl.

You cannot listen to him anymore. Nothing he says is the truth, and you must repeat this to yourself. You must enact No Contact. Do not speak to him, do not call and do not take his calls, unless and only if, it has to do with your children. Get to the courthouse and file child support and state help if you need it. Get away from him at all costs. Document everything that he does.

I would also suggest therapy for you, for your self esteem. Once you get your esteem up, you will begin to attract emotionally healthy, available men. When you feel low about yourself, you will attract bad men, they can smell low self esteem from a mile away and take full advantage.





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